took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
