my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
