chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
