Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
