and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
