a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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