my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just forgot I was standing up.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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