We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
