This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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