ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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