i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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