Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
