Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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