u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
