cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
