As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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