i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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