i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
