I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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