Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
