his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
