so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
