dude i'm inner monologue high
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
