How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize