But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
