Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
