I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize