Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
