so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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