I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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