I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize