just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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