It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
