I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
