this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
