summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
this will be a night to untag.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
