yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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