Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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