I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
