So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize