And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
