Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
