we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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