I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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