he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
