I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
