just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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