Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
