Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
