brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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