she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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