3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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