GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
