I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
