I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
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