i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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