What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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