I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
be right there i have to get my cape
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
