i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need water and some morals
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
