im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
